I am a parent. I have two girls; one who is eighteen years old and finishing her first year in college, and one is six and just finishing first grade. This has given me a unique perspective on parenting. Because my two girls are so far apart in age (12 years for those who didn’t bother with math), I have been able to see the parenting mistakes I have made with the elder and apply them to parenting my younger. It is something I am grateful for, and something I feel like I need to apologize to my eldest for almost weekly. As a new and first-time parent, I laid down rules and expected them to be followed without question; “because I am the parent and I said so.” That served me (or so I thought) well as I watched her grow up.

But with experience and hindsight, and some great reading on leadership, my parenting style has changed. I am far from the hard headed and heavy-handed parent I was, and that growth came over time and through some bad moments. Now I am much more willing to explain “why” behind some rules than I ever was before. By explaining “why” I want my little one to brush their teeth and floss, I find I get fewer arguments and rebellion, and our nightly ritual of brushing and flossing goes much more smoothly. Same with screen-time, or with eating veggies, or a sensible bedtime, or why we can’t get into the pool today when it is almost raining. When I start with why, my path is smoother. Not smooth, but way smoother than my first parenting go-round.

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